I met Glenn in October of 1992 we dated for 1 1/2 years before we married. We lost a child to miscarriage while we were dating and once we were married in Febuary 1995 we decided we wanted a baby and would not be in a hurry just let it happen at Gods speed. I tried not to think about it but every month I was late (this was normal) and would run out to buy a pregnancy test and always it was negative. I was tired of seeing T.V ads for baby things and really tired of seeing teens with babies acting like they were just a toy and adults who did not seem to realize how lucky they were to have a baby/child. And then it happened on July 16, 1995 the day before my birthday, I was at work on a Sunday morning I had been sick but thought it was just the flu but I could not take it anymore. I called Glenn at home and told him I was going to the hospital to get meds or find out what was wrong. Once at the hospital they started running all the test and after sitting in the room for only a few minutes the doctor came in and told me the words I had been longing to hear "you are pregnant", I could not wait untill I got home, I called Glenn from a phone in the hospital to tell him the news. I could tell and understand he was scared I had a bad history of being pregnant and miscarring but I knew this time was different I was going to make it.

  I was excited but afraid I had to make it to 12 weeks that was the point I had problems getting past. I was pretty sick but happy because they said that was a good sign. I made all my doctor visits took my vitamins did all I should. At around 12 weeks I could not wait any longer we started setting up the babys room I changed it around a million times it had to be perfect. It was done with teddy bears.

  On October 10th we found out it was a boy!! Everything still was going good. We went to church that Sunday and Glenn stood up like a proud Daddy and told everybody with his eyes filled with tears and heart full of joy we were having a BOY!

  I was now 19 weeks I made it. On October 17th I was coming from my job and stopped at a local store to go to the potty (again) it was different this time I felt preasure then it happened, my water broke. I ran out of the store and to Glenns work about a mile away he rushed us to the hospital and they wanted to start my labor we said no way. They did a sonogram and there was not much water left, they said the baby could not move and if we did make it long enough for him to live a may be handicap because of not being able to move. Yet everytime the nurse would come in to check his heart rate it took them awhile because he would not sit still and his heart rate was perfect . They kept my flat on my back feet up head down I was not allowed to sit up to eat could not go to the bathroom, I was to stay tilted up in hopes my cervix would close and some water would build back up to make it a little longer. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days on my back and nothing happened. I ask if I could go home and stay on bed rest and they didnt seem to think that would be a problem (wrong) I should have just stayed in the hospital and maybe I would have held on to Nicholas longer, long enough for him to have a chance. Not sure why but the doctors let me to go home (they should have told me NO) and stay in bed. That night (at home) I got up to go potty (again) and again knew something was wrong I rushed back to the bedroom laid down on the bed and Glenn got up with a frightened look on his face and said "dont move, the babies legs are out" he called 911, the ambulance came and when I got to the hospital I had Nicholas within a few minutes. Though the labor was short it was hard I was dry from no water and Nicholas was breech and no pain medicine. We stayed at the hospital until about noon just sitting and holding Nicholas. Our Pastor came and prayed and blessed Nicholas. All of our family was there everybody wanted to hold and talk to him. We left to go home without our baby boy. When we got home Nicholas' room was to the right as soon as you walk in the door, I told Glenn to close the door I could not handle seeing it, he went to close it and went in and sat in the rocking chair and broke down, I could not move I wanted to go help him but it was like there was a wall in my way, I could not go in the room. The next day we planned the funeral and went to view him at the funeral home he looked like a sleeping angel . The funeral was nice but it was so cold and the wind was blowing I wanted to stay and hold him and keep him warm I think other than loseing him walking away from his grave that day was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

We left the door to Nicholas's room closed for a few weeks I could not take his things down it was like the final step of knowing my baby was not coming home.

  Glenn and I have civily gone our different ways now he has gone to drive a truck like he has always wanted to do. I have made a family like I always wanted. We both keep flowers and momentos on Nicholas's Grave.

  Nobody should ever have to make funeral arraignments for their child. We gave him back to God on October 24, 1995. If you have ever lost a child my heart and prayers go out to you. Nicholas gave me a gift of knowing how special every child is and what a miracle every child and pregnancy is to every women.

  After 5 years the doctors figured out that I have an Incompetent Cervix I now have two wonderful girls both were preemie but made it, thanks to God and their Angel brother Nicholas. Please visit their page.

Parents

 Parents of Nicholas are Glenn Scearce and Billie Knight

Grandparents